Daddy Daydreamer

Living with depression sucks

I wonder why I put myself through the mental wringer

Figurine comforting a sad figurine

Editor's Note: Since time of writing, I've developed strategies to set priorities, respectful boundaries, and most of all, be kind to myself. Thank you to my family, friends and workplace for their support.

DEPRESSION TRACKS LIKE A NINJA, quietly plotting his course in the dark; muted footfalls, cagey eyes.

Living with it . . .

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April 19, 2018

Easter: Jesus or chocolate eggs and bunnies?

I talked about Jesus, but my kid's focus was on the Easter bunny

Person in rabbit costume looking at the horizon

I'm not a religious person. But I know there are forces I can't even begin to understand in this universe—forces greater than anything I can ever fathom.

I'm a non-practising Christian, but I always reflect around Easter. Good Friday, especially. I was going through my journals and came upon a passage. A discussion about . . .

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March 30, 2018

We got ripped off, but I'm proud my son was generous

A con artist left me feeling grateful and betrayed

Thou shalt not

I have to give her credit, she told a great story. Before my son and I realized she scammed us, we felt pretty good about ourselves.

We were enjoying a nice father-son walk around the neighbourhood. Came across a woman near the end of our street. She was hard at work, chipping away ice on her driveway.

A bit rough around the . . .

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February 25, 2018

Some dude texted me by accident and said he was going to kill himself

I called him backā€”find out what happened

Diary note, anger, shame, potential suicidal thoughts

The call came at 5:09 on a cold January morning, waking me from a sound sleep. It was a text-to-landline message.

"Goodbye Nicole, I love you," the robotic voice said. An obvious wrong number.

I thought about the message. Maybe it was a husband sending a sweet message to his wife. But I felt a finality to it; five words can mean . . .

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January 31, 2018

Fuzzy Bunny and the Christmas iPod

A holiday story

Fuzzy Bunny with iPod

Fuzzy Bunny was very excited to open his gifts on Christmas morning. Every day in December, he counted how many days were left until the BIG day. He wished very hard for an iPod, so he could play all his favourite games without having to share with his brother, Fuzzy Hoppy.

It was Christmas Eve. Fuzzy Dad worried about paying the . . .

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December 24, 2017

Some Jehovah's Witnesses got me thinking about faith, myths and stories

A morning diversion turned into a philosophical discussion

Flash of light

Photo: Freeimages.com – Prashant Jambunathan

People knock on my door. They try to sell me things, ask for donations, or impart some sort of spiritual wisdom.

One morning, the doorbell rang as I tidied the kitchen. I opened the door. Two well-dressed people kindly presented themselves.

“Hi there,” a curly . . .

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November 02, 2017

How I rekindled my dreams

I want to dream big, like when I was a kid

Be it resolved that I will become the greatest writer that I can be. Be it resolved that I will be me.

This post contains coarse language which may be offensive to some readers.

I used to dream big. Until I grew up. Adulthood is where my dreams died.

Lately, I've had inklings of creative momentum percolate through my brain. I can't deny this desire to be more than a rat in a race.

But it seems so hard to extricate myself . . .

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October 19, 2017

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