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Daddy Daydreamer

I made myself redundant as a stay-at-home dad

My family needs me in different ways—and that's OK

Dad and kids in costumes

This article first appeared in The Good Men Project on February 10, 2017.

For over six years, I was very comfortable in my role as stay-at-home dad. But I knew it was time for a change.

My kids are in school full time. They don’t need me in the same ways. They don’t need me to hover. A healthy sign of their growing . . .

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Posted in: stay-at-home dad

February 23, 2017

As my sons saw their dad cry for the first time, our love for each other grew

By attending to our messy feelings, we found room for empathy

Sketch of man crying

This essay originally appeared in The Globe and Mail on June 15, 2016.

I had never let my children see me cry before. I had this tough-guy notion it would make me look weak. But one morning, messy emotion got the best of me.

My eldest son was not feeling well. Although ill, he was looking forward to spending a day with me at home. . . .

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August 18, 2016

I wanna be a stay-at-home dad and a writer when I grow up

Helping my son write is quality time together

Timeline Grade 1

Youngest makes his way downstairs and asks: “Dad, can I help you?”

“Help me with lunches?”

“Yeah.”

“I'm done. I did them while I made supper.”

“What are you doing?” he inquires.

“I'm writing.”

“Can I write a story?”

“Sure!” I answer. He cuddles up beside me. “So, what do you want to write? You need a title.”

“Um, my title is The Name . . .

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March 31, 2016

Explaining the value of school to a kindergartner proved harder than I thought

I felt conflicted forcing my child to attend school

Kids getting on school bus

“Daddy! I doan wanna go to school!” my youngest, aged 5 at the time, desperately pleaded. “I wanna stay home wit' you!” he sobbed, eyes reddened by salty tears.

“You have to son, it's your job.”

“Why, Dad?”

“To learn things. To make friends,” I responded nonchalantly.

“But I have friends already. And you teach me things. Why do I . . .

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December 23, 2015

What’s wrong with declaring my occupation as stay-at-home dad?

I am the economic equivalent of a zero

Dad and boys at BMX park

This essay originally appeared in The Globe and Mail on April 30, 2015.

As a stay-at-home dad, I am the economic equivalent of a zero.

This revelation came to me at my local Costco where, upon checkout, I am often asked to apply for their new cash-back credit card. Usually, I politely decline, preferring to leave the crowded store with my . . .

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December 10, 2015

Dreams of a stay-at-home dad

At times I wonder if I made the right decision. Then a pot of potatoes boils over or a grilled cheese starts to burn

Dad and and son sleeping

This essay originally appeared in The Globe and Mail on March 3, 2014.

The year was 1978. I was 4. The morning light muffled its way through my pale bedroom curtains and turned an opaque blue. My mother was lying beside me, smiling, the skin of her face so smooth.

I looked up at her and felt at ease, at home with the one who loved me . . .

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November 12, 2015

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